Puke

Okay.. so I've been sick since Tuesday. And it was SOO embarrassing!! Okay, so here's what happened. All day my stomach had been feeling like I'd been hit by a truck. I could barely get up and walk around and I was constantly supressing moans of pain. I thought maybe this is what period cramps feel like? Only, I wasn't on my period (tmi, i kno) and so then in 5th hour, Spanish, everybody was doing this game. Here's the game : You call out somebody's name and you make moose antlers with your hands. Then you lower your hands. The person you called has only while your hands our up to cuff their hands around their eyes to make owl eyes. If they don't do it on time, then they have to get on all fours and say moose. Weird, huh? And so I was battling with my stomach and then this guy caught me on it. And I didn't make the owl eyes on time! So he was telling me to do the moose thing and I knew I couldn't because it would hurt too much... But I couldn't tell him that! So I just refused and they said I was a bad sport and nobody wanted to play with me after that. =( Anyways, thats not even the embarrassing part! Then, in 6th hour, Math, we were reading for SSR (silent sustained reading) and all of a sudden I felt like my stomach was going to burst open! And I started getting all clammy (my forehead, arms, palms, everywhere was emitting cold sweat) and I felt so sick. So I went up to the Dubester (Mrs. Dubia) and told her I really needed to go to the bathroom. She took one look at me and asked if I was going to puke and I said "yeah" and so she wrote me a pass and then said (and here's the embarrassing part) "Go ahead and take the trash can with you." WHAT KIND OF ADVICE IS THAT?! She said it was incase I puked in the hallway. But still, I felt (and looked) like a complete loser dork weirdo maxima walking through the hallways carrying a trash can into the girl's bathroom! So I went in the bathroom, did what I had to do (blah) and then I carried the trash can back up to the Dubester's room. And she asked if I felt alright and I said I needed to go to the Office and she said okay, wrote me another pass, and then told Danielle to escort me to the office. AS IF I NEEDED THAT! and so then Danielle's walking me and asking me whats up and I tell her I got sick and I knew she was gonna tell everybody. (she's such a gossip! [and sure enough, Christina (my twin sister) heard I got sick from Danielle]) And so I call my mom in the Office, but she can't get off work and even if she did wouldn't be able to get there fer like 45 mins, so I called my brother, Nick and that moleboy didn't answer.. so I left a message... Then I went back up to class and the Dubester made me take the trash can to my desk!! D'X and then everybody was asking me what happened. And so then I was explaining it over and over again. And then a few minutes later, I was called down to the office again and SURPRISE! Nick's there!! Yayyyy!! And so I gathered up my stuff, left a note in my locker for Catie saying that I got sick and went home and then yesterday, i didn't go to school and today I didn't go to school but tomorrow I plan to go. I've puked like 600 times in the last 3 days and I'm sick of it! (haha, little pun right there.) Anyways, I'm not looking forward to making up all the absent work but at least I'll have the whole weekend to do it anndddd I'll get to see Joe tomorrow! Yay... Oh YEAH! And today, Christina calls me while she's in school, apparently I got her sick too! She was driven home by Cora's dad!! But, anyways, until next time, cya!

Relief

Okay, so I've come to the conclusion that Marcus and Derek ARE complete DOUCHEBAGS! but. they didn't tell Joe. (At least, I dont think) Now here's my reasoning: Joe hasn't acted ANY different, none of his friends gave me weird looks and Marcus and Derek can suck it. Okay, in other news. I bumped into Joe today.. :D!! Here's what happened (lame story) I was walking backwards, I turned around and felt somebody's arm brush against mine, I look up and its joe! Interesting, right? lol. Well it was a big thing for me! I can still remember the way his skin felt on mine. Ah, it replays over and over in my head. Oh yeah, and the biggest part! When I bumped into him, and I looked up at him, he looked down at me and smiled! SMILED! I know it's probably no thing to anybody whose ever had a boyfriend... but come on! :) I like joe.

Here's some News: I've got the mind to lose some weight! I'm chubbier than most girls at my school. I way around 150 and I'm 5 foot 6. I should weigh much less! Now I want to lose 20 pounds (at least) and it would be cool if I did it by the end of the school year (Yeah, right!) and here's my plan:

1) Eat healthier and eat less.
-limit is 2000 calories a day. (less if I can help it)
- I will no longer ask for chips, but instead granola bars or fruit
2) Exercise!
-I have a routine that I will do every day!
*100 punches with my right arm, 100 with my left
*25 kicks with my right leg, 25 with my left
*Daily stretches
*10 push-ups
*50 bicyclers
*80 crunches
-And also, I will try to get some outside work done. Whether its jogging a few laps around my condo complex, jogging up to the park and doing some exercise there, riding my bike a couple miles, or just simply skateboarding until I can't skateboard anymore!

I think this will greatly improve my life. I'll feel better for being healthier, I'll look better, and not to mention that summer's coming up which means swimsuit season!
Who knows? I may come out as a totally different person! (i hope)
Well, i'm going to sleep in good spirits. So, till next time diary, cya!

News and Heartache

Well, I'll start with the news cuz the heartaches hard to deal with. 1) I got a new monitor so everythings brighter and more awesome! 2) I got this cool book of poetry and its pretty darn amazing.

Now for the heartache. So i told you about the whole Marcus/Ian/Guy I like/ Math thing, right? Yeah, well, it turns out Marcus is an even bigger doucher than i thought. So, Derek sits next to me in Spanish class, and he's like, so you like Joe? (derek's one of the ppl who overheard in Math) And I'm like, shut up. And he's like, "Cuz I'll go tell him if you want" And I'm like, Please Don't. And he's like, "Are you sure? Cuz he's just over there" and so he goes up to him, whispers something and comes back and he's like "I told him. And he seemed pretty disgusted." ONly, i knew he was joking cuz he was laughing. And I"m like, you're stupid. And he's like "fine, i really will go tell him then."
And so he goes up, comes back and says "I told him I knew who liked him and he said 'Lip-pierce girl'" and I still knew he was joking. Derek was the type that never admitted when he was joking. So he just kept telling me "He knows. He knows. I swear!"

And then in Math, Marcus is like, "Yeah, i told joe you liked him. I told him on Thursday after I found out. I told him 'I know who likes you' and he's like 'who?' and I said 'Stephanie' and he didn't say anything. Didn't even make a facial expression, but instead he turned around and went to his locker"

I contemplated Marcus's words for a few moments. And since he wasn't saying anything about it being a joke, I asked if he had any witnesses. He pointed to Ian (who is like my best guy friend) and I'm like "Ian, did you hear what happened?" And ian's like "Oh, well... uh... I saw them talking.. but i don't know what it was about."

And I was just ... I dunno. I was mad at Ian for not being able to tell me what happened. I was mad at Marcus-- Scratch that. I was FURIOUS at Marcus for telling! and I was scared and humiliated. I literally started crying cuz i didn't know if marcus was telling the truth or if it was some kind of cruel prank. And then I started thinking .. What if what Derek said was true? What if Joe sees me only as the 'Lip-pierce girl'? I was so certain that Joe liked me back. All the stolen glances and smiles... was I just being irrational? Or is Marcus and Derek playing a prank on me... ? Ian could tell I was mad and was good at keeping his distance for the rest of the day. I didn't even tell anybody about it. The only person that knows is Cora and thats cuz she could tell I'd been crying. Oh, and not only that, but that day we changed seats in Math. I don't sit by either Marcus nor Ian anymore.. Adn to tell the truth, I couldn't be happier! I'm still mad at them. I can't believe Marcus would betray me like that! We're not friends, but still, you do not play with a teenage girl's emotions like that!
Especially not a girl whose crossed the blade over her wrist one too many times. I suppose nows as good a time as any, to fess up and tell a secret. I'm a wrist-cutter. Have been since 6th grade. 2 years now i've been doing it and have the scars to prove it. I stopped for about 5 months until recently. Well... recently, things haven't been going too well. Hm. Well, till next time, I suppose, Cya.

I need true emotions

I must say, today had a lot of ups and downs. Too bad right now its down. So here's a basic layout of my day: When the day started out, Joe wasn't there. Which sucked! cuz i had a convo starter.. But then in the middle of second hour, Michelle and I were sitting in the hallway, reading, when I hear this kid named Jake say "Hey, you're here!" I look up at Jake and he's looking the other way. I follow his gaze and there's Joe. I lean my head out to see him better. (How gorgeous, lol) Then I really didn't see him much again until 5th hour, Spanish. So much for talking to him, right? So sometime during class, I look over and he's looking DIRECTLY at me.. or was he? I couldn't be too sure because he didn't look away or react at all when i started looking at him... But after a straight 3 seconds of pure staring at each other, he smiled. I got so shy i looked down. When I looked back up, he was staring at his desk. Then, when he went to go get a highlighter (which is 5 ft from my desk!), he didn't move his head, but his eyes peered up at me (his head was down) and it looked like he smiled.. or was it a smirk? If it was a smile, thats good. If it was a smirk... I don't know but i don't think its good.. is it? Anyways, the rest of 5th hour passed with Nothing. But then in 6th hour, Math, these 2 kids Ian and Marcus were bugging me about who I like! They would NOT leave me alone, so finally I told them that the last letter of his last name is K, the last letter of his short name is E (Joe) the last letter of his full name is H (Joseph), he's in my spanish class, he's tall, and that his spanish name ends with an N (Esteban)... so those 2 jerks got half the class involved in the guessing! And guess what? 2 of the guessers were people in MY SPANISH CLASS!! I was so scared. Then, after several failed attempts, they guess Joe! I hid my face in my hands. Several of them joked about telling him ... and I wouldn't be surprised if they actually did. In a way, I sorta wanted Joe to find out... see what he'd do... but now I really wish they would've never guessed... Cuz now here's my low. It's silly, but Catie and I were talking about Math class and what happened and she said "No offense, but I don't think you're really his type. I mean, the last girl he liked was Megan" who is this really preppy, slender, pretty girl... How can I compete? I feel so stupid for ever thinking he liked me. Well... till next time, cya.

PROBLEM SOLVED!!

Thank you Veronica!! You totally saved my blog!!

(She went on my account and changed my profile)

THANKKKK YOOUUUUU!!! :D

Anxiety and Problems

Okay, so I noticed on my profile that like a LOT of my posts are being chopped off... I'm not sure how to return it to normal. I've tried getting different layouts but nothing's working. If you have any ideas, please contact me. Hense the Problems part of my title. Otherwise, I actually Do have some news about little mister Joe. NO, I didn't talk to him. BUT, I have a conversation starter for tomorrow (if i work up the guts to talk to him, that is.) Okay, so what I found out is that he punched a guy in the stomach when they were playing b-ball and he didn't get in trouble for it. I could start out by asking him "So I heard you punched some kid named Adam in the stomach?" and then he'd reply. Then I'd ask what happened? Then he'd reply. Then I'd say "And you didn't get in trouble for it?" And he'd reply :D and then I'd say "Thats weird. I didn't even punch anybody and I got suspended for 2 days" then we'd start talking about Nina. and what happened between me and her. The conversation shall be gloriously awkward (lol) ... But, then again, I probably won't even get the courage to ask him anything about it... :( curse my insecurity! Oh yeah, and I have to stay in after school tomorrow to finish a stupid drawing in Drafting. Fun.. blah! Well ima go to bed now. Till next time, cya!

Blah!!

So, i dyed my hair blonde yesterday. Its BLONDE blonde... and i got a lot of cool comments at skool about it. And the main person I wanted to hear from was Joe (yes, i've decided i like him more than Chad) and I only have one class with Joe and that's fifth hour Spanish. So lunch is right b4 spanish. I see him at lunch and he's just chillin and so am i and stuff... and then I'm SOO excited for Spanish (even tho me n him dont talk and we sit all the way across the room from each other, I still see him looking at me a lot!) and so I get there all pumped up, and HE'S NOT THERE! Nobody knows why but he wasn't in that class. I saw him later in the day tho (in the hallway) and I see him and he's looking directly at me and Smiling! I was happy... but eh. Sometimes I think I take little things like stolen glances and smiles totally out of porportion. But come on, what am I supposed to think? Oh and then Fagboy Draven (totalllll bastard! And nina's best [and only] friend) passes me in the hallway and as soon as he passes me he shouts EW! and then i over hear him tell somebody "I fucking hate stephanie!" and I'm just like .. okay... whatever? U kno? I dont care what he thinks. But, when I see him just like 2 mins later, I pass by him and he's looking directly at me, so I look at him and I say "Oh my fucking gawd! It's hideous!" And then He gives me a look like Oh-no-you-did-not! and I just walk on by.. and then I was late to my 6th hour.. blah!! And then in 7th hour we learned how to work a sewing machine (i hope I learn enough to sew my own clothes!) and then I went home, fell asleep, ate some pizza, watched Tropic Thunder (good movie) and then I did some homework.. took a shower. and now this. yay. And yeah. Now i gotta do more homework but its like 3 mins to midnight! Blaahhhh!!! Well, till next time (and hopefully next time I'll have some juicy thing to say about Joe), Cya!

Escapayyy

Okay dokay. Today was rather interesting. I was suspended, so I didn't get to go to school. Instead, I got to stay home and sleep. :D Only, last night, this creeper named Jesse texted me. Now, I dont know how old Jesse is, I don't even know his last name. All I know is that he's creepy and he goes to high school. The way we met is me n my friends Catie and Colette (high schooler) were hangin at static age (this cool little "emo" club in town) and we were just chillin maxed by the grillin, like villians when all of a sudden Colette points out Jesse and says she knows him from school and we start hangin. We all thought he was creepy and eventually ditched him and hid from him. A while later he adds me on myspace, and a little after that, he asks me out. I tell him no and we stop talking. This was like a year ago or somethin. A month ago or so he starts talkin to me again. I talk back just so i'm not a bitch. But then he starts commenting all my pix telling me i'm beautiful and "sexxiiii" and stuff and i'm just like Gross! So he knew that i had a cell phone and asks for the number.. I didn't want to but I gave him my number anyways. So he texts me last night like "U wanna hang after skool 2mrw?" and I ask "Can I bring my friend Cora?" Cuz she has a crush on him (BLAH! GROSS! NASTY! EWW!!!) and then he's like "Sure" and so I say yeah, whatever. And then after we set a time and place he's like "So is it a date?" And i'm LIke FREAKING out cuz just.. groooossssssssss!! and then I text back "Uh.... not a date date... " and he was liek "well ima go to bed. Oh, and even though U dyed ur hair I bet you're still beautiful" [cuz i'd been complaining that I didn't like it] "Good night, Stephanie," and I'm like getting shivers cuz its so creepy and I just say g'night and I call cora and fill her in. She's excited and I tell her to dress slutty and flirt with him so she's the one gettin raped by creepy Jesse and not me. (She likes it! lol) and then today he txts me "are we still hangin out?" and I'd been dreading it so i just say "uh.. sorry but my mom said I couldn't cuz i'm being punished cuz i'm suspended" and he's like "that sux" but he accepts it (thank god!) and then i tell cora the same thing. And yeah, thats how I escaped (hense the title Escapayyy) hanging out with Creeper Jesse. Oh! and I"m bleaching my hair right now cuz it was like dirty blonde b4 and i want it blonde blonde and i'm using Loreal Feria Extra Bleach Blonde which I use all the time (its the bestt! [i put in the full name incase u wanna bleach urs {and its super easy!}]) so yeah. I'll put up a pic after i'm done. :D till next time, cya!

A Little Info

I am currently suspended from school for "harrassing" a student online and then bringing it into school. I think its pretty stupid. First of all, I only sent one message to the bitch and she deserved it. She was calling my friend and me emo bitches that need to go cut themselves. So, hah, what would you do? But then me n the other girl who is my deadly annoying friend (her name is Cora) went to go confront her in school bcuz we knew she wouldn't do anything in real life but would say Anything on myspace. So, we got in trouble, I was suspended for the day that spring break begins and today spring break ends and i'm not allowed to go to school tomorrow. Cora isn't allowed to go to school 2mrw or the day after cuz she pulled Nina's hair and Nina (the bitch) isn't allowed to go to school 2mrw or the day after cuz she was absent on Thursday (the day we got in trouble).. so thats the recent drama. In my friend life, my friend Cora (who lives 2 doors down from me) is getting SOOOOO annoying!!! she wants to hang out every single friggin day and wants to spend the night all the fuckin time! its like seriously, dude! Its like i'm her only friend or something! she calls me like 7 times a day and when I dont answer she leaves voicemails like "How come you never answer your phone? I'm seriously getting pissed. Call me back" and I just want to call her back and be like "Fuck you! dude, stop calling me like 5,000 times a day! goddamn bitch.!" I've had it up to here with her... She's driving me mental. I try to make up excuses not to hang out with her but I'm running out of em. If you have a good excuse, please let me know! Phew. Anyways, moving on to me love life: Zilch. Nada. Cero. NOTHING! blah! I'm getting so SICK of being single! There's only 2 guys that I like at my school right now. One of them is named Joe the other Chad. They are totally best friends and I feel a little guilty for liking both of them. Is that weird? I dunno. Chad's in my Drafting class and Joe is in my Spanish Class. Joe has brown hair, blue eyes and is tall and tan. Chad has dark brown hair, uh brown eyes i think and he's about my height. Joe's better looking than Chad but I feel like maybe I'd have a better conversation with Chad... but I can't tell cuz I don't really know either of them.. I'm fairly certain Chad duzn't like me cuz i commented him on myspace just like "hey, whats up?" and he never replied. Stupid, huh? Whereas Joe looks at me during class... but so duz Chad... so I'm confused and .. er.. hoping one of em likes me enough to ask me out.. But, who knows? Some things just can turn out unexpectedly. If you have any advise, please tell me. If you need any advise, feel free to ask! Till next time, cya!

The Beginning

My name is Stephanie. My friends call me Stenny. I'm 13 years old and I'm in the 8th grade. I live in Michigan, U.S. I've had my share of problems in the past. I've played my part in historic moments at my middle school and i've had some pretty interesting situations and experiences that most do not deal with. I'm free to give advice, take advice, or just chat. I'm smarter and I'm more mature than I look. I love music, movies and just laying back and relaxing. I love to have fun and chill but I'm serious when I have to be. I've never had a boyfriend and I've never been kissed. I do like a few guys at my school but I don't think they really like me back. I'm just trying to get through Middle School and out of High School with as little Drama as possible, but.. eh. Do things every go the way I plan? Haha, no. I'll post blogs as often as possible and share all my thoughts. I warn you, some of the things in my blog will require maturity and understanding. Discretion is advised and if you don't like it, don't read it.